4 ways to turn your setbacks into comebacks

4 ways to turn your setbacks into comebacks

Today can be different for you. Today can be the beginning of a new day, a new you, a new story, a new future. Today can be different. Make the decision to make it different. Make a decision to change. Make a decision to take a new path.

  • Even when you are guilty.
  • Even when you have lived a life of bad choices.
  • Even if you have a not-so-stellar reputation.
  • Even if you have lived an unhealthy lifestyle.
  • Even if you are stuck in a dead-end job.
  • Even if you have made some missteps and fallen off the wagon.

It is never too late for you. Make today different. Thank God for all your setbacks, because now you can use them to make your comeback.

S.O.S Help! I'm a female entrepreneaur.

S.O.S Help! I'm a female entrepreneaur.

Is it just me or is working and growing your business at the same time as running your life hard AF. It feels like the harder you try the more you fail in one area or another. It is difficult and frustrating and downright annoying. I know it is not for lack of trying. I was in every single entrepreneurial group. Signing up for every freebie and webinar and training that was being offered. I took part in every challenge, listened to every FB live, everything! All in an attempt  to get a grip on my business.

Be Excited

Be Excited

The opportunity to do better and be better. The anticipation of things to come. I love the newness of that feeling. I love beginnings! Does that mean it will always work out? No! But at least at the end of the day I can say I tried. I can chalk it up to another lesson learned; to another life experience. EVERY experience good, bad or ugly teaches me something and if I’m lucky, I can come out of it with a funny story or two :D.

Get your shit together! [3 Easy ways]

Alright badass mama, it's time to get your poop in a group! It's not always fun and parts of it may not be pretty, but it is necessary and only raises your standing on the badass bar. Before you look at me sideways, I know I know, you are running a business or working full time and on top of that you have a partner and family to think of and yada yada yada...good for you. Now that we have established that you have a life, let's go about the business of getting it in order shall we?

Great. We will start with you first. This is YOUR life and as such you are a major player in it so we have to start there.

I have to admit that this was my biggest struggle for the longest time. I always felt like focusing on myself was somehow selfish and I would feel guilty. Guilty that I wasn't that mom that cooked dinner every night. Guilty that I was that wife that wasn't always in the mood. Guilty that I wasn't a PTA mom, that sometimes I would rather not go to my kids concert, that I was not a volunteer mom and that I sometimes picked my kid up in my sweatpants, oversized sweater and I had forgotten to brush my teeth.

Here is the thing - Badasses are true to themselves. You say what you mean and mean what you say. You do not compromise yourself and you do not waste time on things that don't serve you. Not because you are a bitch or a horrible person, but because you are an honest person that gives a fuck about the things that really matter and you don't give any F’s for pettiness and things that don't matter.

So, Number 1 - Make list of your priorities (the things you give effs about).

Once you have written it down, read it over. If there are things on your list that are only there because you think they must be there or you feel guilty if they are not then circle them.

Really evaluate them. In the big scheme of your life do those things actually serve you. How would your life be different if you chose not to give a crap about them? If they are causing you stress and not adding anything of value to your life. Cross them out, you don't need time wasters and life-drainers on your list so get rid of them. Just purge them from you list without prejudice.

Number 2 - Miss me (yourself) with that petty BS.

For real girl! Wasting so much time on pettiness is making you miserable. Ask yourself, at the end of the day does this thing even matter? In 5 minutes or 5 days will this even be on my radar? When I walk out this store will that snooty cashier mean anything to me? Will having to walk into the bank to get money because the ATM is down change anything? Will not volunteering to be the crossing guard matter at your child's graduation?  Will missing an episode of your latest favorite show cause the earth to implode? Dang girl just catch the replay or revisit the episode on Netflix or Hulu. The internets got you! Stop sweating the small stuff. Okay, so you didn't like a post on FB or you missed your friends latest cat pic on Instagram or a Snap is about to expire...SO WHAT??? None of that stuff means anything in the bigger scheme of things.

Instead, number 3, get your relationships in order.

Prioritize the people that matter to you. Put your damn phone down and actually spend time with your kids. Miss that episode of The Real Housewives of wherever and go on a date with your man. Don't just like or double tap on your friends cat picture...actually message her or call her and have an actual conversation. Who cares if you are 20lbs from your goal weight, put that lingerie on and put it on your man tonight. Stop sweating the petty shit!

Start living for you. Start prioritizing you. Give as many effs about yourself as you do to the Kim K and Taylor Swifts of this world. You matter damnit! I want you to start living like it!!

If this post gave you something to think about and something you can give a crap about, leave me a comment below and let me know. Then share it on social media too.

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Shut the hell up!

Shut the hell up!

SHHHHH!

It is so loud in here. This place. This world is so full of noise.

  • Noise from yourself.
  • Noise from family and friends.
  • Noise from the media.
  • Noise from social media.

It really is a wonder that we can get anything done. We work with the TV, the laptop and the phone going at the same time. You talk on the phone while you drive. You blast the radio, music or a podcast when you take a shower. You Facetime and Snapchat when you go to drop a deuce.

Electrician VS Plumber

Electrician VS Plumber

So I have to ask...if you had a problem with the electric main of your house you wouldn't call a plumber to fix it right? At best he would give you a temporary fix and you will just have to spend more time and more money to fix it. at worst, it could be a big fat disaster and your house could explode into a glorious ball of fire and you lose everything you have worked so hard for!!

Your life sucks! #SuckageIsReal

Your life sucks! #SuckageIsReal

We are always chasing perfection and this ultimate idea of success. Nothing wrong with that, but in this day and age of #FirstWorldProblems we think and feel that life should NOT suck. We feel like things should flow easily and that if we work hard enough at it that life should be a dream. We measure our lives according to the highlight reel of ‘perfect’ moments we see on social media only a million times a day! This leaves us feeling angry about the times we get angry. We feel shame for feeling ashamed. We are embarrassed for being embarrassed. We are guilty about feeling guilty. Ugh! How maddening!

This is why it is important to own that your life sucks...and that's okay!

Diet. Diet. Ugh! Diet.

Diet. Diet. Ugh! Diet.

Diet. Diet. Diet. Isn't it so freaking annoying reading about the latest diet that this person is on and that that person is on. It's crazy trying to figure it all out. Trust me. I have lost 130lbs and so I know the stress and the drama of trying to figure out what diet is the best for you.

Balance like a Boss!

Balance like a Boss!

I am forever chasing that fickle thing known as B.A.L.A.N.C.E. It seems that there is never enough time in the day to do everything that I want to do. And let's be real, there are some things that need to get done that I really hate or just plain don't want to do. This adulting thing can be such a big pain in the butt! Hands up if you agree.

What my miscarriage taught me about badassery.

I am comfortable. After years of turmoil from an abusive, unfulfilling, toxic relationship, I am finally in a good place. It has taken years to get here. It definitely did not happen overnight. It has taken work and it has taken time and it has been worth it.

For the first time in a long time, I can truly say that I am happy. I may not be a millionaire, or living lavish, but I am happy. I have a husband that loves me and spoils me. I have 3 kids that drive me nuts, but that bring me more joy than I ever knew was possible. I am running a business that I love, that allows me to stay home and only work part-time outside the home. I have great friends, good health and I can’t complain.

There has never been a better time or situation in my life to bring another life into the world. After trying for over a year, seeing those two pink lines on that pregnancy test that confirmed I was pregnant, filled me with incredible excitement and joy. Finally, we were going to have a baby!

I was finally going to have the chance to have a pregnancy where domestic violence, homelessness, stress and  my age weren’t going to be an issue. This child was going to have a father that ACTUALLY wanted her. This baby wasn’t going to be unplanned or a ‘mistake’. This baby was not going to have to know homelessness. This baby was going to have EVERYTHING it needed. This baby was going to be my chance to get it right.

You see, I often worry that I have messed up my kids by putting them through so much trauma so early in their lives.. I wish my kids had been born into situations where their fathers wanted them. I wish they had been born at a time when financially I could provide everything for them. I wish they had never had to witness domestic violence. I wish they had had a mom that was less stressed, that was in a good place financially, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I feel guilty for leaving them for days at a time with friends, because I was in the psych ward again. I feel shame and guilt that my daughter and I basically grew up together since I had her at 17. It kills me that there were times I couldn’t provide more than a box of Cornflakes and 2 cans of tuna for them. There is so much that I wish I had been able to do differently for my kids.

This baby was going to be my chance to FINALLY do it right. Married, happy, healthy and able to provide, but the Lord had other plans and I had a miscarriage.

To say I was devastated is an understatement. To say that I am over my loss would be a lie. It will be a while before I can walk near the baby section in the store without crying. It will take time before I can look at a baby announcement and not burst into tears. It will be a minute before I accept any baby shower invitations. That’s fine. Having been through this 3 times before, I understand it is part of the process.

Learning is part of the process too. And this is what I have learned from this miscarriage.

This baby was never meant for me to hold. This baby was not sent to me to kiss her feet and smell hear her voice. This baby was sent to me for the briefest of times, to teach me lessons I may not have learned otherwise. She was sent to me as a reminder. She was sent to me so that I could find myself. The 10 weeks I carried her allow me to boldly declare:

I am pretty fantastic.

I live life to the fullest.

I don't have time for petty BS, not because I don't give a damn, but because I care deeply for the things and the people that really matter.

I don't have time for fakery and tomfoolery.

I make moves, not excuses.

I use my voice for those that can't speak for themselves.

I rise because I have fallen on my knees before.

I speak, because I know what it is to be silenced.

I move, because I know what it is to be forced to stay stagnant.

I strut because I know what it is to be compromised.

I live freely because I know what it’s like to caged.

I am a badass! Hear me roar!

While my 3 kids may not have had what I thought would have been the perfect start to life, my life and their lives to date have taught them that:

  • It is about picking yourself up when you are down.

  • It is about valuing the things and the people that truly matter.

  • They are not defined by stuff, but by the integrity of who they are as people.

  • There is always a silver lining

  • Being broken doesn’t mean you are weak, it is a chance to be reborn and to rebuild bigger, better and stronger

So I rise from the ashes of my loss and wait for the day when I get to see her and thank her for the incredible gift she gave me in the 10 weeks I got to carry her!

So if not for myself, I rock my badassery for her, my other 3 angels waiting for me in heaven and the 3 angels I have with me on this earth. I own my worth and I add tax to it, not for myself but because my kids, my husband, my family deserve to have me operating on 10. So it’s far from a selfish thing, my badassery at it’s core, is the most selfless thing I can do.

Here’s to you baby girl and the unseen badass you always will be!

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Miscarried and Broken!

Miscarried and Broken!

I am completely broken! Miscarriage is completely devastating. Going through my fourth miscarriage has thrown me for a loop. My heart is so broken, it feels like I will physically break in two. I know there is healing and laughter to come, but for now...I just want to break...